Tag Archives: madness

Movie Prediction Madness: June 25th-27th

We’re back again with more Movie Prediction Madness!

For this coming weekend, expect the good-but-overrated “Toy Story 3” to have another #1 weekend, probably well north of $50 million. Why these movies continue to get higher Tomatometers than much better films like “Wall-E” or “Up” is beyond me. Probably because they’re not risky like the ones I just mentioned.

The other 2 openers are a bit of a wild card. Firstly, I think “Knight and Day” will open well, despite the media’s strange, continued desire to convince us Tom Cruise is no longer a movie star. Guess what – he is, and more so than media darlings Brad Pitt or George Clooney will ever be. I’d be more worried about Cameron Diaz who, for whatever reason, is one of the highest paid actresses out there. She’s had more turds than Cruise ever will.

So say $40-$50 million on that one, and could have decent legs. Even the negative reviews on Rotten Tomatoes give it a lot of compliments.

Then there’s “Grown Ups”, which I assume will be an entire movie about 45 year olds acting like children. While I’m sure this movie will be god-awful, it does have a “Couple Retreat” vibe going for it plus a bunch of washed up stars and the Mall Cop guy. So people will show up. Expect a bunch of nonsense, then a touchy feely ending where they confess to their wives / kids that they’re the greatest treasure of all or some BS like that.

$35-$45 million, possibly a close race with Tom Cruise for 2nd.

Tune in next week as I try and predict exactly how much more than $100 million Twilight will open at! Also, Last Airbender is going to bomb – big time.

Movie Prediction Madness: June 11th-13th

It’s time once again for Movie Prediction Madness! Well I was wrong last week about Marmaduke, but that’s OK because if me being wrong means one less terrible movie is successful, so be it! Let’s move onto this week, shall we?

#1 The A-Team

The first of this weekend’s 1980’s retreads is “The A-Team”, a movie based on a show I watched religiously as a child yet hardly remember (see also: “Dukes of Hazard”)

I am basing this #1 prediction off seeing the trailer during a packed showing of “Iron Man 2: The Suit Would Never Fit In That Briefcase And Even If It Did You Wouldn’t Be Able to Lift It”. Despite the “A-Team” trailer not being very funny (or having any welding scenes) people reacted to it very strongly. The trailer for “Prince of Persia” got crickets, and it still made $32 million opening. “A-Team” should be able to do at least as well.

This has been a very weak summer thus far, so something’s gotta open decent eventually. I mean, besides “Toy Story 3” and “Twilight”.

#2 The Karate Kid

…a movie about Kung-Fu, not karate. Maybe it doesn’t matter, “Mummy 3” contained NO mummies whatsoever (or Rachel Weisz) and it still made a decent chunk o’ change.

Wil Smith’s kid stars along with Jackie Chan. I have recently determined the reasoning for a lot of these remakes. People my age who grew up with movies like “Karate Kid” now have kids of their own. Apparently we see ads for this new one and think “Oh, I remember that movie as formulatic, safe fun. I’ll take my kids to something live-action for a change.”

This may not open as high as “A-Team” but it could hang in there as a sleeper hit, like “The Blind Side” or “insert-generic-but-crowd-pleasing-sports-movie-here”.

Old Releases

Shrek 4 will still hang in there, of course, since it has “Shrek” in the title. Probably as #3, or maybe just above “Kung Fu Kid”. All other releases will continue their rapid declines, yet Hollywood will continue to make video game adaptations despite the fact “Persia” blew it, even with its massive production / advertising budget.

The tepid box office summer will finally heat up later in June with “Toy Story 3” and “Twilight: More Suckage” which will both open north of $100 million.

Brace yourself for Movie Prediction Madness!

I feel I don’t blog enough these days so I’ve decided to do a new weekly feature called “Movie Prediction Madness”. At least for the summer months.

Every Thursday I will predict – with amazing accuracy – what new movie will open to #1 and which will bomb. You can then be amazed the subsequent Monday as to how accurate I was!

In other news, we’ll get back to the podcasts soon, trust me!